Some of the biggest obstacles in life are the ones we don’t remember making.
Have you ever caught yourself saying something like, “I’ll never let anyone hurt me again,” or “I don’t need help from anyone, I’ll do it on my own”?
These words may feel like strength in the moment, but often, they become invisible chains. The Bible calls us to let our “Yes be yes, and [our] No, no” (Matthew 5:37, NASB). Yet when we make inner promises out of hurt or fear, we end up locking ourselves into patterns that are hard to break.
What Are Inner Vows?
Inner vows are decisions our hearts make in response to hurtful experiences - to protect ourselves from being hurt again. They sound like:
- “I’ll never trust men/women again.”
- “I’ll never cry in front of anyone.”
- “I’ll always be the strong one.”
On the surface, they feel like protection. But deep down, they build walls that keep love out and keep us stuck. Ecclesiastes 5:4-5 reminds us that vows carry weight: “When you make a vow to God, do not be late in paying it… It is better that you should not vow than that you should vow and not pay.” Even vows we don’t consciously realize we’ve made can shape our lives for years.
How Inner Vows Hold Us Back
When we say, “I’ll never depend on anyone,” we may end up lonely, even when people around us want to help. When we vow, “I’ll never cry,” we cut ourselves off from the healing that comes with healthy vulnerability.
These inner promises don’t just affect relationships, they shape how we see God, too. If we’ve decided, “I’ll only rely on myself,” it can feel risky to lean into God’s love and provision. Yet Jesus came to free us from those self-made prisons. Galatians 5:1 declares, “It was for freedom that Christ set us free; therefore keep standing firm and do not be subject again to a yoke of slavery.”
How God Breaks the Chains of Inner Vows
The good news is that God’s love is stronger than the promises we’ve made to protect ourselves. Here’s how you can start loosening their grip:
- Ask God to reveal them. Inner vows hide in plain sight. Pray, “Lord, show me the promises I made in my heart that are keeping me from Your freedom.”
- Confess and release them. Speak it out: “God, I made the vow <name it>. I ask for Your forgiveness and I forgive myself for making that vow. And now, from that place, I break the vow and come out of agreement with it in the name of Jesus.” God honors the decisions of our hearts, even those made in pain. When we bind ourselves to a vow, heaven recognizes that choice until we invite Him to release it (Matthew 18:18).
- Replace them with truth. Declare His Word over yourself. For example, instead of “I’ll never trust anyone,” remember Proverbs 3:5, “Trust in the LORD with all your heart And do not lean on your own understanding.”
Healing begins when we let God rewrite the inner agreements we’ve made with pain.
You don’t have to keep living bound by promises you didn’t even realize you made. God sees the moments that shaped you, and He’s more than able to bring freedom where you’ve been trapped. One step of surrender at a time, He replaces the walls with His love.
In our Heart Healing Essentials course, we explore how inner vows are formed and guide you through inviting God to break them, so you can walk in greater freedom and healthier relationships.
